The Late Great

Late for work again.
They are going to fire me.
I can see them in Stephen's office.
I can see them through the venetian blinds.
They're talking about me.
I know it.
Using words like: "Lazy" & "unmotivated" & "attitude"
They don't give a fuck about me.


My whole life I've been late for everything.
I was late for my own wedding (for real. I actually was.)

I've tried the whole set my watch ahead business but it doesn't work.
It doesn't work because then I know my watch is an hour fast and I say things to myself like "ah, I've got plenty of time. My watch is an hour fast" and then I'm late.
I'd have to set my watch fast without my knowing. Like If I were also Tyler Durden but didn't know it.
I could trick myself.

I also thought of tattooing the words "You're Late" on my arm where my wrist watch should be.
That way every time I look to see what time it is - I'll know.
But then I remember I haven't worn a wrist watch since 1994.
After that I kept time strictly by Beepers and now Cell Phones.

Please God If you let me keep my Job today I swear I will start going to church again and I will give up masturbating to asian fetish porn for one week.



The Cenobites: You're Late (feat. Percee P)